Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
