You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I NEED YOU TO TELL ME ITS OKAY TO BE THIS HIGH
Yes
O.K.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Starting St Patrick's Weekend, non stop flights on Pacific Whorelines to the scenic HotMessXpress. Get the cougars ready, it's gonna get weird.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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