Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
he was CRYING into my vagina
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
I'm gonna hop on that dick and ride it into the sunset
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
Randomize