How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I just woke up and my mouth tastes like I licked the bathroom floor in the last ghetto bar we were in. I'm going to get my mouth checked for chlamydia. Do I see a dentist for that?
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Randomize
