just threw up while drinking by myself. This is all your fault. You here = a good night, You not here = alcoholism
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
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