i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize
