i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
did you just send me my own nude
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
