i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Randomize
