What a fucking waste of an outfit
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
