i wish my penis had a tongue
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
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