at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
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