Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize