Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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