Got a toothbrush?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
I would just watch. I wouldn't even have a boner cuz I would do so much coke. It would just be funny.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
This is getting exciting. I almost wanna turn off all the lights, get some popcorn, and stare at my phone screen to see if she's going to say yes or not
And on a much sadder note, I'm way to drunk for this right now
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
