I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize