But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I don't think I can fit "I'm sorry for ruining Christmas" on one cake. Better make two.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
