hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
i want to get drunk and sing the national anthem on your roof again please.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
