On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Ya, found out why there were rat traps in my bed. Guess I pissed in Sams room so he went to the store and got them and put them on my bed and put tabasco in his humidifier and put it in my room
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
