They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
