I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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