Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
Randomize
