the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Why did I wake up covered in glitter next to a half eaten cheeseburger?
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
