2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
You know what's awkward? Being with your girlfriend and seeing her ex-boyfriend that she left for you while you've got a Ron Burgundy level awkward boner.
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
You stopped loving me for a minute.
You sent me "Is nap," I don't think that really counts as a conversation starter.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
Randomize
