3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I keep finding Kraft singles in his pockets. Honestly, this is the weirdest family I've ever worked for.
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
