i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
Because it's not worth it. And there is no nice way of saying "sorry, you're not good enough at sex for me to drive 45 mins"
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Between fucking and sleeping I woke up missing four out of five of the earrings I was wearing. It's like a star rating system. I had to give him props.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
Randomize
