white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
i would hope so, cause i don't think 'i drove off the road because i was getting some head' is covered in insurance
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
It's rum buckets o'clock
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
Randomize
