Your face is a jimmy john
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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