Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
