Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Randomize