super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
It's dollar drink night and I have my honors society initiation tomorrow. Somehow I think this will not end well.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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