Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Either I'm spending too much time drinking or my perfume is starting to smell like a pineapple vodka.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
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