i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
You were hugging the toilet and shouting "don't let fatty eat me" through the closed door.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
