White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
