well you can't waste a boner
Have you ever noticed how boring internet porn is after you cum? I can't shut my computer fast enough.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I have someone saved in my phone as "This Hoe Ain'tit' Loyal" and I'm missing my superman boxers. Explain.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
Randomize
