I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
i don't plan on having that self control this summer
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Randomize
