The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
