Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
My vagina is very pro this idea
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
i think we reached that point in our drunkenness where even the creeps found us intolerable
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
