I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
