I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
