Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Randomize
