just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
I have a voicemail from Mike at 1am. He starts to say something, but then throws up instead.
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
No dude 10 parakeets in your bedroom is 9 parakeets too many. Bring them back. Today!
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
Randomize
