you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
Nicole vs. Life
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
