you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
you had me at cake vodka
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize