i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
