I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
And in that, my finest lazy stoner moment, I used my cleavage to hold my bowl steady while I packed it laying down in bed.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Randomize
