Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
