Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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