Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
