I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
Help me help you realize you are a moron
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
Randomize
