Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
Randomize
