so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
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