did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
Jason Williams (yeah the ex-nets center...) drunkenly told me that, while drinking, I should take an ambien and a cialis before i go home...that will "give me a 25 minute window to have sex and then goto sleep before the bitch starts bothering me"....
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
My number one goal in life is to find out who can fill a keg with Popov
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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