so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
