i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
