Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
She is still out of it but keeps saying ur name she said to tell u dinosaurs aren't real but biscuit with a z made bad choices
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
