party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
