New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Remember that time you bought snap bracelets on Amazon and they sent you 300 pregnancy tests instead? Amazon knows.
I am an advanced cybernetic robot sent back in time to 2013 to fuck my wife senseless for hours on end. Have you seen this wife?
Eddy, if you don't want to roll play then say so. This is just obnoxious
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize