If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
When the officer tried to stop you, you just shouted your name in his face. repeatedly.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize
