Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
i just had sex bonerless
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
Hey I came back and we made joints with the breathalyzers the cops left last night.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I'm not going to waste the next hour of my life writing a diplomatic email explaining that she's bitch. I have Parks and Rec to watch.
Randomize
