Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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