I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
