this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
In retrospect pumpkin carving while drinking Patron was a bad idea.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize