After we had sex, she played this little piggy with my toes
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
This day took a left turn at "This is your going away party, I got a bunch of blow."
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Randomize
