we turned studying into a drinking game, she drinks when she gets it right, i drink when she gets it wrong. so we'll be out soon
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
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