i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Randomize
