i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
her vagina looked like a handful of raisins.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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