I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
My mom is lecturing me about 'invaluable housekeeping skills' while I google 'cocktails involving gin' on my phone. I can feel the generational gap looming in her silent judgment of my choices.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
