Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
