I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Randomize
