he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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