When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
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