She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
i just discovered a movie that charlize theron is a sex addict. i think my prayers have been answered
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
there is such a gross feeling of satisfaction when the married guy i used to hook up with likes my facebook status.
Randomize
