were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
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