ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
It happened again. Now theres even more baby powder and its all over the place, I'm not cleaning that house.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I'm at the store buying a new phone cause I pissed all over mine last night. Drunk me is expensive as shit.
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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